


Proprietary Grief

by lha



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: AU maybe, Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Post Ep S3:E12 There Is A Tide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:21:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28578174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lha/pseuds/lha
Summary: Paul has lost everything, but not everyone seems to be paying the same price.
Relationships: Hugh Culber/Paul Stamets, Paul Stamets & Adira, Paul Stamets & Jett Reno
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	Proprietary Grief

“I am so sorry my friend,” Saru said, coming to stand silently by the grieving man’s side. There was no response but he had said so little since they’d been brought back together that it was hardly surprising. “They deserved much more than this,” he gestured to the small gathering of mourners.

“They deserved to live.” His voice was hoarse, broken. 

“Of course they did,” Saru agreed quickly. His own physiology had stood up better to the radiation they’d been exposed to but even then, it had been a close shave. Everything about what had happened was wrong though.

“Paul,” Michael said, coming to join them, clearly intending to share her condolences. The change in Stamets was palpable,

“No.” There was an extended pause,

“I... “ she tried again. 

“No.” Paul turned on her now. “I don’t want to hear you or your self-centered justifications,” he hissed. “We gave absolutely everything for you and in the end, your obsession with The Burn cost us it all, cost me everything I’ve ever valued.” Tears were pouring down Paul’s face, though he seemed not to notice them. “And yet again, you’ve walked away the hero. I hope you’re happy _Captain_ Burnham.”

“I…” Michael stuttered. Saru placed a restraining hand on her arm and shook his head gently no.

“I don’t ever want to see you again and the last thing I want to do is serve under you,” Paul continued. “But it seems I don’t have much choice. I tried to hand in my notice, but apparently I am now proprietary Starfleet technology. I have no free will. No life. No choice.” 

Saru could feel the anguish coming off Michael in response to the tirade. She was clearly distraught in the face of their friend’s anger and grief but that didn’t change the fact that Paul was not without justification. He was hurt and grieving but he wasn’t wrong. The loss was almost unimaginable, and Paul had lived through losing Hugh once already.

________

Jett saw what was happening and extracted herself from the conversion she had been hosting. 

“Hey Bobcat,” she said, sidling up to him as though he wasn’t in the midst of a pretty spectacular meltdown. Ignoring social tension was one of her specialties though, “How about we shake this joint?” Eventually, Paul turned to look at her and his face collapsed as though she’d broken something.

“Jett…” he sobbed.

“I know. I know,” she said, folding him in her arms as best she could. “Come on,” she said a few minutes later. “You and me have an appointment with a bottle of bourbon and a freshly replicated Key Lime pie.”

Jett had no particular animosity towards Burnham but she understood Paul’s anger and whether she agreed with it or not, he didn’t need someone to try and dissuade him for now at least. Thankfully Saru seemed to have the measure of the situation and seemed to have dissuaded Michael from saying anymore. 

“Thank you Lieutenant Reno,” Saru said quietly. “If either of you require anything, be sure to let me know.” For someone who had just relinquished their command, he was still a pretty good commander. 

“Where are we going?” Paul asked, once they’d made it into the lift. 

“Well Sweet Thing, I’d take you back to mine but I have a bunkmate. I do however have an engineering lab of my very own.” The humour didn’t illicit a response but Paul seemed calmer for now. She rambled intermittently with no expectation of a response until they reached her lab and she had retrieved her stashed alcohol. 

“Grab some tumblers?” she asked, gesturing to the rack of equipment. There was a delay as though it took him a moment to process the request. “Lemon Meringue or Key Lime?” Again, a delay. She remembered so clearly that feeling of being out of time with the rest of the world.

“What?”

“Pie. Lemon Meringue or Key Lime? Or…”

“Oh. EIther.”

“Hmmm Lemon Meringue I think then,” she said, moving over to the replicator. It was only when she laid down the pie, plates and forks that Paul seemed to frown.

“How… Did you reprogram your industrial grade replicator for food?”

“It is now a multi-purpose replicator.”

“What are we doing here?

“We’re drinking and eating pie.”

“Why?”

“Because absolutely nothing will make you feel better right now. This is just a good distraction.”

“So is work.”

“Well yes,” she said. 

“I need to find an alternative navigation method. I don’t want to be here Jett. I can’t keep doing this.”

“Ok,” she said, pulling out another stool and opening the bourbon. “Well let’s start brainstorming.”

**Author's Note:**

> There shall be more in this universe I think...  
> Let me know how you feel and thanks as always for reading!  
> LHA x


End file.
